13 Best Tips On How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work
Moving abroad while in a new relationship was a big decision to make. This is the second time I was in a long-distance relationship, but this time, we are separated from each other for a few years & we ended up getting married.
Being in a long-distance relationship needs hard work and you definitely need to know how to make a long-distance relationship work. But, trust me. It works.
Miguel, my now-husband, and I never thought we have to be in a long-distance relationship. We often wanted to do things together, but when I got a work in Sweden, I couldn’t turn down the offer and I had to move within a few months.
At first, the thought of being in a long-distance relationship again wasn’t encouraging because of my first LDR experience—it wasn’t good. But, this relationship is different and the technology changed (my first LDR experience was in 2009), so we had high hopes.
If you are entering in a long-distance relationship, you are probably thinking if it will work, if it is worth it, if you will survive it. Luckily, it can work. You just need to know how! Here are my best tips on how to make a long-distance relationship work!
How to make a long-distance relationship work
- Have a goal in mind
- Don’t put your life on hold
- Have something to look forward to together
- Have proper communication
- Stay honest
- Learn how to address important issues remotely
- Manage your expectations
- Do things together
- Visit each other
- Enjoy your alone time
- Know each other’s schedules
- Support each other
- Send gifts to each other
If you are also looking for the best long-distance relationship quotes and gift ideas, keep on reading!
Have a goal in mind
What do you want in your relationship? What is your end-goal?
Have a clear plan about your future together and be on the same page. Prepare yourself mentally and accept that to handle a long-distance relationship, you need to be prepared to make an extra effort (and sacrifices) to make it work.
Miguel and I wanted to start a life in Sweden so our goal is to make this relationship work and move in together. We just got married in March!
Don’t put your life on hold
Not because your other half is not physically with you, you will put your life on hold. DON’T. It will not be good for your mental health & personal growth and neither on your partner.
Don’t let your long-distance relationship hold you back.
This is an important tip on how to make a long-distance relationship work because if you feel like your life is on hold, maybe there is something about your relationship that is not fulfilling you.
This is also why you need to have a goal in mind so you wouldn’t feel like you are wasting each other’s time.
Have something to look forward to together
An LDR is still a relationship. So, have something to look forward to together like when you are not in a long-distance relationship.
- Look forward to each other’s birthday
- Look forward to celebrating small wins together
- Look forward to talking to each other
- Look forward to the time when you can talk on the phone
- Look forward to seeing each other
Think of all the things that you and your partner will look forward to. It makes the relationship exciting despite the distance.
Have proper communication
The best and most important tip on how to make a long-distance relationship work is to have a proper communication!
We all express differently, and the distance makes it a lot more difficult. We all know that having a proper communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
Talking face-to-face and being able to see the body language makes communication easier but in a long-distance relationship, you need to make extra effort.
- Avoid excessive communication
- Focus on quality communication
- Try to communicate regularly—or as much as you need
Learn to listen more to each other and keep an open-mind.
One thing you don’t want to have in your relationship is trust issues. One way on how to make a long-distance relationship work is to build your trust and make sure that no one will break it.
Stay honest to your partner and don’t be too considerate that you feel like you need to walk on thin ice. Tell each other how you feel; if you are disappointed, let your partner know.
It goes back to having a proper communication. Be honest & less judgmental.
Learn how to address important issues remotely
When you want to discuss something important, it is easier to go over it in person. But since you are in a long-distance relationship, chances are you don’t often see each other. My husband and I only see each other for 3 months per year so we needed to learn how to address important issues remotely.
- Find the right time
- Have a video call
- Don’t just send a text message
- Don’t judge & have a benefit of the doubt
Don’t let each other struggle in bringing up difficult topics.
Manage your expectations
Another one to consider being in an LDR is the distance. My husband lives in the Philippines and I live in Sweden. Obviously, there is a time difference and we have work to do during the day.
I already managed my expectation that we couldn’t talk long within the day. Also, we both know it is difficult and expensive for us to keep seeing each other so we talked about how often we can see each other.
- Set clear boundaries
- Don’t make an assumption
Discuss what you expect from each other, set some ground rules and clear boundaries.
Do things together
Who says you cannot go on a date when you are in a long-distance relationship? Keep that spark alive and do fun things together! Some ideas are:
- Watch a movie together
- Play a game online
- Video chat
- Make plans for your next meeting
- Get intimate
Visit each other
Depending on how far you are from each other, make sure you make time to visit! This is the most exciting part about being in a long-distance relationship: seeing each other after a couple of months.
Unfortunately, I cannot travel back to the Philippines so my now-husband travels to Sweden at least once a year and stays with me for 3 months! Yay!
Traveling that far can be expensive, but we make sure to book early and we find the cheapest flights.
Enjoy your alone time
Take your long-distance relationship as an opportunity to focus on yourself and enjoy your alone time. What activities do you like to do alone? Hangout with your friends. What are your hobbies?
Both my husband and I are enjoying our alone time. We grew during the time we are away from each other and we will still continue on having our alone time once we live together.
We both know we want to be in each other’s lives in the future, so we try and learn how to live apart first.If you both know you want to be in each other's lives in the future, you need to try and learn how to live apart first.
Know each other’s schedules
When I say know each other’s schedules, I don’t mean keeping track of your partner whenever, wherever your partner goes! If you will do this or are doing it, stop.
Know each other’s schedules so you can schedule your time together even if it’s an hour only.
So, we have a 6-hour time difference (summer), right? Miguel is working from home and by the time he goes for lunch, that’s the time when I prepare for work. We spend around 15 to 30 minutes per day calling each other and that significantly helped us in making this long distance-relationship work.
If one of you is not available, send videos or photos or a recap of your day! Just share anything else that you will normally share with your partner in real life.
Support each other
In every relationship, your partner is usually your #1 supporter.
Both of you will still continue to grow and change as life moves forward. There are vices in a relationship to overcome, but play on your strengths and support each other’s weaknesses.
It is normal that your partner wants different things. The least you can do is appreciate and support your partner’s individual strengths and interests so they can grow to become the best person they can be.
This would mean maturing as individuals and together as a team.
Send gifts to each other
Being in an LDR, sending gifts to each other helps improve the relationship. It can make you feel more connected and less alone. And, sending something tangible also lets your partner know you are thinking of them.
Long-distance relationship gift ideas
Aside from my tips on how to make a long-distance relationship work, here are a few ideas that you can give to your significant other while being in a LDR!
- Travel Kit
- Travel Organizer
- Carry-on Luggage
- Luggage Tag
- Long Distance Touch Bracelet – duo set of communicating bracelets that sends a vibration to your partner when you touch it!
- Instant Camera – capture the best moments and share it with your partner.
- Sexy Truth or Dare Game – keep your date nights interesting and get to know more about your partner!
- Send love notes with Lovebox. It syncs to your phone to send love notes back and forth through an app.
- A handwritten love letter
- Countdown calendar
- Moon lamp
The best tip to make a long-distance relationship work
What is the best tip on how to make a long-distance relationship work? DON’T CHEAT.
Long-Distance Relationship Quotes
Looking for the best long-distance relationship quotes? Here are a few of my favorites!
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
“I exist in two places, here and where you are.”Margaret Atwood
“But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.”Calla Quinn
Does distance really matter? You love your favorite actor, drool for your favorite singer and await patiently for the next art from your favorite artist or writer. Why not the one you love?Jane Morsel
“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”Charles Dickens
“Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.”Unknown
Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.Rafael Ortiz
If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.Michael Bassey Johnson
If you found that one person who is really worth the sacrifices, pain, and hardships then your efforts will not go to waste.Anna Agoncillo
Maybe, I thought, it’s not distance that’s the problem, but how you handle it.Dash
There are different ways on how to make a long-distance relationship work. There may be times when I’m feeling homesick — not because I miss the Philippines, but because I miss my friends and family.
Miguel has been a big help and he has been my constant since I moved here. At first, it will take time to get used to being in an LDR and you might struggle, but hang in there!
I hope this post helps you get an idea of how to make a long-distance relationship work. Read more posts about relationships.